A Hole In The Wall

by Rich on May 29, 2013

I’m trying to get my head around the fact that I have a 13 yr old son. A teenager. It’s really throwing me for a loop.

The realities and ravages of time are certainly no stranger to me. I get it. I am older than I was and younger than I will be (hopefully). But those are concepts. Ideas. They float around in the stratosphere of my consciousness in much the same manner as The Electoral College. In theory I am familiar with them, but the nuts and bolts mechanics drift right on by like, say, advanced level calculus.

That’s why when my son stood up to receive recognition for what he is doing in his Boy Scout Troop (shout out to Troop 11!!), and I noticed that he was almost as tall as his adult troop leader, it was a bit of a shock. And then I started really looking at him.

So often I get distracted by the vagaries of day to day life that the things I see around me begin to blend into the landscape. You know what I mean. That tree on the corner. You’ve driven by it twice a day for the last 12 years, but you never stopped to look at it until it got hit by lightning. Or the hole in the wall behind the door where you slammed the door open too hard that one time because you were ticked off that the cable guy waited until the last TWO MINUTES OF A FIVE HOUR WINDOW TO FINALLY SHOW UP AND FIX THE FREAKING CABLE AND I’VE BEEN WITHOUT INTERNET AND FOOD NETWORK RERUNS FOR SEVEN WHOLE HOURS!! Eh hem…sorry. At any rate…you forget the hole is there because you see it every day. It becomes part of the landscape. That’s my point. Not the cable guy.

People can do that too. Become part of the landscape. Not that we take them for granted (although I think we probably do more than we want to admit), but that we don’t often stop and just take inventory of who they are. At least I know I don’t.

So as I sat there on the lawn in front of the Scout Hut and watched the ceremony, I looked. And, not to pat myself on the back or anything, but my son is really turning into a neat young man. Obviously a good looking kid, sure, but also respectful, funny, smart, kind and generous. Of course, he’s 13. So he’s also self-centered and immature, loud and inappropriate, and will push every boundary I set for him and make some really dumb decisions. But that’s pretty much his job description as a 13 yr old boy, so we’re good there.

Look, this is basically a dressed up excuse to brag on my son. So, yeah…he’s pretty much awesome. But it’s something more, as well.

It’s a reminder that I need to stop and notice not just things, but more importantly, people around me. Really notice. And make the conscious decision to think about them as who they are, rather than just acknowledge that they are merely part of the landscape of my life.

Not that I am going to think any differently about the cable guy WHO APPARENTLY WAS TOO BUSY TO GIVE ME A FREAKING CALL OR SEND ME A FREAKING TEXT SO THAT I WOULDN’T WASTE FOUR HOURS AND FIFTY-EIGHT MINUTES OF MY ALREADY OVER CROWDED SCHEDULE!! I MEAN, I HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE HERE, CHA-CHA!! Sorry…

No, I may not think any different about that guy, but I am going to make an effort to at least consider him as a person with his own issues and dreams and down-falls just like my own.

And maybe, just maybe, if I do that, I will have less holes to patch.

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Less Of A mess

by Rich on April 21, 2013

Allow me to introduce you to the one person who’s invention changed the world forever. No it’s not Steve Jobs or Thomas Edison. It’s not Ben Franklin or Henry Ford.

The person who did the most to change the world forever is Arthur Julius.

“Well, sure, Rich. Everyone knows Arthur Julius. His invention was…wait. Who?”

Exactly. But in my mind he has done more to change the modern world than anyone on the planet. What was this groundbreaking creation?

The wet wipe.

Is there any more important invention on this planet than the wet wipe? I argue there is not. It really is a miracle product.

Before wet wipes, changing diapers often necessitated 9 bath towels and a fire hose. Before wet wipes, devouring a plate of wings required a trip to the nearest pool or pond. Pond would be good for you. Even a trip to the bathroom often left you feeling in need of a shower.

Now? The disposable, flush-able wet wipe! Baby fannies (and all others, for that matter) rejoice! Sand on your face after a day at the beach? Wet Wipe! Disgusting door handles at the movie theater? Wet wipes! No time for a shower after running a half marathon? Wet Wi…no, seriously. Take a shower. Wet wipes are awesome, but they aren’t magic.

Now, for less than a gallon of gas, you can carry around a portable sink/shower/surgical scrub unit in your car! And did I mention that you can use wet wipes to get the stench of that gas off your hands after you fill up? They truly are amazing. Never mind travelers checks. This is the one thing I don’t leave home without. I keep them in my Jeep, in the office, in my computer bag. I use them to clean pollen off the dashboard. I use them to wipe beer and nacho cheese off my phone. (oh sure, like I’m the only guy to splash beer and cheese on his phone!) They are in practically every room in the house.

It’s really a shame that Arthur Julius isn’t more well-known. His invention has changed our planet for the better, and no one has a clue who he is. What if nobody knew who invented Duct Tape? Or beer? What if we didn’t know where Twitter came from or who developed the forward pass? Travesty! And yet, there he was, back in 1958, toiling away with this little idea for a self-contained, portable wet napkin that could be used anywhere for anything. And look where we are today because of it. Cleaner and less smelly. Who’s not for that? Arthur Julius should have his own wing at the Smithsonian. They should add his mug to Mt Rushmore. At the very least, he deserves a monument on the National Mall. How about a federal holiday?

Wet wipes have made the world a cleaner, more convenient place in which to live. And if there are two things that we as a people value more than almost anything, it’s cleanliness and convenience.

And unlimited data plans. That’s a must.

Happy Arthur Julius/Wet Wipe Day!

 

 

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The Confessional

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Sometimes the ride in my jeep is a laugh-riot, sometimes it is an introspective look at the world. Today, the ride is more of a confession. Like many confessions, the confessor is often the last to acknowledge the sin he is confessing, and I am sure this instance is no exception. Most who read this [...]

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Sink Or Swim

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Maggie

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Bear (the other one)

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“Schwarzkopf has died. Moment of silence for the bad-ass…” That was the tweet I received from a friend on Thursday. It stopped me in my tracks. It surprised me. You see, I served in the Navy and was deployed during Operation Desert Shield/Desert Storm. You may not remember it. It was that CNN special that [...]

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Man’s Best Friend

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Gary was probably never going to be anything other than the assistant warehouse manager at the plumbing supply house where I worked right out of college. But he was a good guy. Liked to drink beer on the weekend, go to NASCAR races and take his kids camping at the lake. Blue collar all the [...]

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Nuts & Bolts

November 20, 2012

Ok, at the risk of blowing my “Top Dog” status in the realm of homemade snack mix, I am posting my mother’s recipe for what our family calls Nuts-n-Bolts. The misinformed or unrefined may refer to this as “Chex Mix”. I will not lower myself to address their ineptitude here. Suffice to say that my [...]

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Heel to Toe

October 8, 2012

I’ve always thought that women get a bad rap when it comes to shoes. Sure, some take it a little too far, but unless their name is Imelda Marcos, most women are fairly reasonable about shoes. I say that because I have recently discovered something about myself in regards to footwear. It’s nothing huge, mind [...]

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This Time It’s Personal

August 28, 2012

There was nothing special or remarkable about the 16 yr old boy who walked through the doors of Greater Atlanta Christian School that fall for the first day of class. He was not particularly smart. Nor was he especially attractive. He was not an athlete. He did not come from a wealthy family. In short, [...]

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