Well…Here We Go…

by Rich on August 15, 2018

Fifteen weeks. It’s been fifteen weeks since my last update here on A Ride In A Jeep.

A lot can happen in fifteen weeks, and a lot has.

But first, I’ll try to explain why it’s been so long.

I love my little blog. It’s been a great outlet for me, both personally and professionally. For the last couple of years or so, it’s been a weekly column that ran in our local newspaper’s sports section. The paper hired a new sports editor, and he wanted to do something different with that 600 word column, so we parted ways. Many of you may have wondered why so many of these blogs were sort of about sports, and that’s why. It wasn’t always easy to write about sports, but the discipline of turning in a weekly column was good for me, and I miss it. But it was also nice to take a break.

There are probably some well recognized psychological reasons for why I want so badly to be liked by everyone, but really, they don’t matter. The reality is that I do, and it’s something that I have been struggling to overcome for awhile, now. I mean, sure, we all want to be liked, but I have a fear of not being liked; of not having everyone’s approval. Even people I don’t care for or don’t respect. I still want them to like me. So writing, while a tremendous outlet for me creatively, is also very constraining. I’m constantly worried that something I type here will gain someone’s disapproval. And that’s hard. Especially when I look around and realize that the writers for whom I have the most admiration, seem to craft their trade with reckless abandon. They seem to throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may. That’s gutsy. It’s also not me.

Anyway, back to why I haven’t been writing.

Those who know me know that over the past couple of years I’ve been dealing with a lot, personally. And hey, I’m no different than anyone else. We’re all fighting our battles, slaying our monsters, climbing our mountains with weights on our backs. It’s the human condition. But we also go through seasons, and this one has been a pretty challenging one for me. Relationships have ended, finances have been strained, a car blew up.

Seriously.

So that right there is a thing that happened. Bought a used Jeep and the thing caught on fire while I was driving down the road. Total loss. But you know what? It’s just a thing. And things, while they can be important, are just things. I wasn’t hurt, my son wasn’t driving, no one else was involved… it was just a scary inconvenience. And here’s the cool thing: I met some incredible people that reached out and helped me in my time of need (too many to list here, but you know who you are.)

But in the midst of all of the changes and turmoil, there have been some truly wonderful times of discovery and revelation. I’m more focused now on the things that matter (I mean, at least I’m trying to focus on the things that matter), and working on having healthy relationships with those in my life, both personally and professionally. It’s humbling to come to grips with so much baggage that I’ve been running from for so long. Feels kind of stupid, to be frank.

So… my mom asked why I haven’t been writing and my answer was simple: all the stuff that’s been on my heart and in my mind lately aren’t the kinds of things that I thought I should be writing about, or things that I thought you might have an interest in reading.

I’ve decided to change that, because, well, I like writing. And while I may not have anything worth writing or being read, I’m going to do it because I need to. This little blog may change a bit in the future. Or maybe it won’t. I really don’t know. But I’m going to try to be more honest and transparent in what I write. I’ll go ahead and apologize now for anyone that I offend or anger in the future. I promise that’s not my intent. But you know what? I’m not responsible for you. You are. Be offended or angry or indifferent or whatever. That’s your choice.

My choice is to write.

 

God Bless

 

 

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Sally August 15, 2018 at 5:51 pm

Good for you. Good for us who like to read what you write. Bring it on!

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Beverly Perkins August 15, 2018 at 9:52 pm

So glad you’re writing again……and in this one, even you may not realize how right you are. I agree…..bring it on!! 💗

Reply

Mom August 16, 2018 at 4:00 pm

It’s a gift to be shared. I was so happy to see it in my in box. Be blessed as you journey on with Him. 🙂

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