Fabulous Football Food

by Rich on August 28, 2017

With local high schools in action this weekend, we have now officially entered football season! That sound you hear is the collective sigh of relief mixed with a communal, exasperated eye roll. Ok, you can’t actually hear the eye roll. But it’s there. As hard as it may be for some of us to grasp, there is actually a hefty percentage of the population that have zero interest in sports in general, and football in particular.

Those people are called “communists”. That’s a joke.

But even for those who don’t follow sports, football season still brings much to the table that can be enjoyed, and even celebrated. I’m not talking about the ability to see groups of people overcome adversity to achieve a common goal. I’m not talking about the underdog that digs deep and slays they giant. I’m not even talking about school or team spirit or how sports can bring us all together in some kind of hand holding, song singing, cola commercial moment. Sure, it can, and does, do all that. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I said, “…football season still brings much to the table…” for a reason. Football season brings food!

Tailgating, game watching parties…heck, even sitting in a sports bar watching a game gives you an excuse to partake in some of the most decadent, unhealthy, incredibly scrumptious delectables. And THAT is the true gift that football gives us.

Here’s the thing… if it’s 11:30am on a Sunday morning in the middle of May and you and 4 of your buddies bust into a case of craft beer and start scarfing down cheese dip like a ’74 Buick Estate wagon drinking a tank of gas, most people would look at you and assume that you probably have a bit of a problem (I wouldn’t. This is a judgement free zone. And that happens to be my weekly Sunday routine. That’s another joke). But throw on the Packers/Vikings game and all of a sudden this is normal behavior. How glorious is that?

Football season lets us do this all weekend long! From the moment you sneak out of the office at 4:43 on Friday afternoon, until you show back up at work on Monday, bloated and righteously hung over, it’s a nonstop, never ending conveyor belt of chips, dips, grilled and fried meats, tacos, pizzas, beer, “dirty water dranks” and, as a nod to those attempting to maintain some sense of health, vegetable trays (complete with ranch dip that comes by the barrel). That’s nothing short of amazing. And it lasts from late August through January. Five months of pardoned gastronomic debauchery. Football gives us all special dispensation for our gluttony. It’s glorious!

Sure, other sports have their moments. College basketball gives us all a couple of weeks when it becomes ok to blow off all but the most pressing matters at work, while we gather to eat and drink and gamble. But that’s just a few weeks. Baseball? Hey, who among us hasn’t paid $12 for a warm tall-boy while receiving 3rd degree burns at the ball field? Yes… all sports have their moments. But none like football.

So, if you haven’t already, it’s time to give in to the siren song of football, whether you actually like the game or not. Head to your local grocer and pick up plenty of antacids and aspirin.

Then indulge in the greatest gut busting “get out of jail free” diet card ever invented. Trust me on this. You may not care for football, but give the season a chance.

After all, it brings a lot to the table.

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: